One day…

My hope is that one day things will change. One day, I will wake up and my current depression will be lifted. Realistically, I hope one day to find a way to cope with my depression, anxiety, and Body Dysmorphia.

I’m in the process of creating that ‘one day’ for myself. The truth is it is *&$#*%$ hard.

I have been seeing a therapist, who I actually like (hallelujah), I am trying to find a medication to help my depression and obsessive thoughts, as well as decluttering my life.

The hardest part has been actually opening up to my therapist. I am the type of person who won’t easily share information, and if there isn’t anything to say, I won’t force a conversation. I also find it hard to trust people. However, with all of my my shortcomings with communication, I am finding some success with therapy.

The main thing that has helped is hearing her say, “it is totally normal for you to feel that way based on what you’ve been through.” None of my past therapist made me feel anywhere close to normal. It was a huge weight lifted from me. Of course, not everything I do is considered normal or healthy…but how I feel about events in my life a real and NORMAL.

And that is my disconnect. How do I take these feelings and find ways to appropriately manage them? Hopefully, in my next sessions I will learn ways to do this. Heaven knows I’m in need of some healthy coping skills.