Here’s to You

 

The past few months I have been thinking about powerful women and how society treats them. I’ve currently been in situations where I’ve stated what I wanted in a professional way and I was told I was too aggressive. Now I’m not a powerful woman but I do consider myself strong. I’ve been through some messed up shit and I still survived. But it made me realize that I didn’t get to this point by myself. I had strong women all around me. So this is for them. Maybe society treats them horribly, but they will always be amazing to me.

I remember two ladies growing up that took me under their wings and loved me like a mother. They were unmarried and childless and for some reason they were shunned for this. They were made to feel less than women who had children and were married. It was messed up. I was only a child and I remember feeling angry for them. They were the world to me.

I was an anxious and lonely child and one of them took me in and became my friend. She didn’t need to do that, but she always took care of others.  She didn’t let anyone make her feel small. She loved those who thought she was weird or broken for not being married. She is and will always be my hero. So here’s to you, I can never repay the love you gave me when I needed it the most.

The other woman I will never forget taught me to be strong. She taught me that being alone can be the most liberating thing. She helped those who called her names behind her back, she gave to those who stuck their noses up at her, and she did not give a flying f***.  I was told by multiple men that this particular woman would not be let into heaven because she would never get married. That conversation made me decide I never want to be a part of anything that belittles the strongest among us. So here’s to you, my friend. Here’s to you for holding your head high, while others threw judgmental stares. Here’s to you for teaching that me that I must be strong for myself.

The next woman I am grateful for was strong, independent, and sassy!  She became my best friend in college.  We both didn’t have partners for an assignment and paired up out of necessity.  We quickly became inseparable. She was vocal and didn’t let anyone get away with anything…including me.  I met her when I was going through a rough patch with my mental health.  I wasn’t taking care of myself and she noticed it right away.  She helped me realize that I had worth and that I needed to treat myself better.  People didn’t see her the way I saw her.  They saw pushy, but I saw someone who made me believe in myself.  They saw loud, but I saw someone who taught me to speak up.  They saw aggressive, but I saw someone who taught me to fight for myself.  Here’s to her!  Without her, I would have continued to starve myself, self deprecate, and fade into the background.

After my worst relationship ended I had cut myself off from the world.  I tried to reach out to some friends, but they ended up not being true friends.  It was soul crushing.  I began to doubt my strength.  I somehow forgot all the lessons I had learned from the strong women in my life.  I mentioned this in a previous post, but I did try to give up altogether.  Soon after this I began hanging out with a friend from work.  We had hung out before, but this time was different.  I was lost and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.  She was spunky, funny, independent, and just what I needed.  She helped me find humor in the crap that I had gone through.  I was healing through laughter and was all thanks to my lovely friend.  She reminded me who I was.  Here’s to you, my humorous friend.  I will never be able to repay you for helping me rebuild myself.

Society is disappointing, especially when it comes to strong females.  There will always be people who mistake strong for aggressive, bitchy, or unladylike. But I will never forget the strong women in my life.  Whenever I am doubting my strength, I think of all the amazing women and the lessons they taught me.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today without people like them.  So here’s to you, ladies!  Keep kicking ass, taking names, and never giving in!!

As always, thank you for reading.

Kymberlee Faye